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I am obsessed with femdom, and i cant quit, can you help!?
I am 32, married with a guy, i am a successful business man and i can have whatever i want, i am very powerful in my job and i make very important descisions everyday, but i got stock with Female domination 10 years ago since my ex-girlfriend dumped me for another man, since then i am surfing pay sites, masturbating 3 times a day, asking hookers to humiliate me and spank me, now it is getting worse i am delaying my business travels an extra day or two to go to proffessional dominatrixs, i am so hooked up with FEMDOM, and i dont want it anymore but everytime i decide not to go there, there is an urge inside of me that makes me weak, female manicured feet make me so weak, the main problem is that i am not sleeping with my wife anymore and i am isolating my self from people, my only concern is to find a good mistress to spank me, i wonder if there are 100% loyal men out there, or am i really a pig, i know i am not, i just want out, i wanna like normal sex again, how can i do it, help!

Tell your wife what you have been doing. She will dominate you at home all you desire, and you won't need to seek it elsewhere. Stop beating yourself up over the fact that you have different sexual turn-ons than some people. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need to find a way to satisfy yourself without letting it interfere with your life. Your wife would be perfect for this, because you can ask her to be anything you'd like.

Opinions on femdom plans?
I am planning a female domination evening for the first time with my partner in response to a recent night we spent where I was the submissive one. My ideas so far...
Lay him on the bed, tie his hands and blindfold him. Tell him he will have to tell me what body part is in his mouth and will get punished for incorrect answers - starting off with things such as elbow, toe etc and getting more intimate. Punishments would be spanking, gentle whipping, candle wax and ripping tape off parts of his body. Once the punishment is over and he has done some hard work on me I will start with the nice teasing til he's completely on edge.
How does this sound? Any advice on any way I could further hot it up?

I would spice up the preliminiaries - before tying him to the bed, you should be dressed in your normal clothes with a hint of dominance ex high heels. Order him to undress himself, then order him to undress you and then dress you up in your dominatrix gear - without touching your skin, else punishments.

When he is done, blindfold him and tie him down.

This should increase his excitement and frustration

Ladies: Would you hire a Dominatrix to keep your man in line if you couldn't be there to do it yourself?
I have a sub (former slave) who lives six states away. He needs physical discipline (spanking) because he is extremely naughty. We have considered hiring a Pro Domme to spank him. Nothing else, just spanking. I am unable to go down and do it myself.

By the way, this whole thing was HIS idea. He thought a pro would be good so that there wouldn't be any expectation of a romantic or sexual relationship on her part. He has a real need for discipline.

Would you do it? Would you put his needs and the health of the relationship ahead of your own personal jealousy?

And yes, this is a real question. I'm not trolling. We're into Femdom BDSM.

Your sub definitely needs a spanking. Can he buy his former owner a plane ticket on command? (Is he broke $$? He would rather have you, right?)

I say definitely send someone over there to get him back in line. Subs can't be allowed to go soft. (If you care about him, then it's best)

But how much do they go for, in his state? It might be cheaper to fly him to you and back. Or to invest in an electronic toy that sparks him at the push of a button, via internet. My grand father says these things are complicated to hook up, so you'd probably have to pay someone to do it, but then it's a fixture attached to his usual electric utilities, so you can shock him any time he's home, and not have to pay much for it again for years, if ever. (Put it on a collar or something, and use a webcam for the rest)

Good luck, what ever you decide. And yes, I'd get him the professional.

Edit: I would not want him to have his needs met too often by someone else though. I think subs should be just a little bit dependant on their chosen dommes.

BDSM question: Do you think that some people get too snotty about male vs. female domination in BDSM?
I've been on sites such as taken in hand:

www.takeninhand.com/woman.whisper…

And seen BDSM communities such as the Other World Kingdom:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Other_World…

And I've been surprised at how people in to maledom can insist that their way of BDSM is the only right way and anything else is unnatural, and people in femdom can do the same to people in maledom. If they're all enjoying BDSM here, why do they have to care whether the man or the woman dominates? So, has anyone else in BDSM had the experience of Maledom vs. Femdom people being snotty towards each other? Why do people do this? Does anyone else feel the same way?

My opinions and experiences: (Warning, long block of text ahead. Feel free to skip.)

I'm a female sub, one of my closest Y!A friends is a male sub. We talk about submission occasionally and get along just fine. We don't see submission too differently because of our differing sexes in my experience.

And there is also gay and lesbian BDSM. So the power dynamic doesn't have to be based on gender at all. The only thing it has to be based on is desire to dominate'/desire to submit.

I enjoy BDSM and I don't really care if it's a lady or a gentleman sub bent over the spanking bench next to me, and if it's a Domme or a Dom spanking them. So long as everything's SSC everyone's getting off (or not getting off, if they're into orgasm denial) everything's fine.

...too graphic?

Are you really that surprised? Lift BDSM right out of the equation and substitute it with religion.

Take Catholicism and Protestantism for example. Both fall under the umbrella of Christianity, both worship God/Jesus, both have certain tenets in common, yet there are sometimes bitter disputes over minute ideology, with each side convinced theirs is the ONLY correct interpretation.

People cling to their ideas and convictions passionately, perhaps afraid to consider what they have long held to be true to be anything otherwise.

The irony of this situation in the BDSM community cannot be overstated though. BDSM prides itself on the "to each their own" sort of mentality, supporting the rights of people who want to engage in scatology as much as the person who enjoys a little light spanking...supposedly it's a very inclusive community, but you will find your fair share of elitists there too.

Girlfriend is Dominant Sexually What Can I Do?? HELP?
My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 5 years. She has recently moved in with me. We get on really well together and everything is good, however - I am a bit confused….

My girlfriend is a big feminist, and always talks about how she hates male chauvinists, male dominated society and discrimination against women. She lost her virginity to me.

We rarely have sex (last time was about 3 months ago) as she says it hurts her (it has always been like this). I am OK with this as I love her and we do other things in the bedroom. When we do have sex we almost always need to stop due to her pain. We rarely have sex and only when she requests it. I bought her sex toys to help her enjoy herself.

Normally when we do any sexual activity (around 3-4 times a week together) she will use her vibrator on her clitoris and makes me suck or touch her breasts, instructing me exactly how she wants it done. She will constantly tell me what to do, she spanks me, slaps me in the face, tells me where to sit, babies me, instructs me when and where to orgasm.

Whenever I try and do anything and take control in the bedroom she nearly always tells me off.

I won’t go into all the domination she has done before here. I played up to this as it turns her on and I want her to be happy.

Last time we went to a hotel for valentines day, I got her a whip and some domination clothes. She started off shy then she went crazy whipping me really really hard, spanking and slapping me. I don't think she remembers how hard she was hitting me I was left with bruises afterwards.

I downloaded a pack of feminist/femdom pictures for her to look at and she has gone though all the images and taken ideas from them. Although she said the feminist/femdom pictures where too harsh - I think she was embarrassed about liking them or didn’t want to tell me. A lot of these pictures where cartoons of female domination over men. She had already done many of the things in the cartoons to me and then she started to do some of them she hadn’t done…..Even today she seemed to suggest another thing from one of the cartoons.

We went out to a fancy dress party and she dressed as a Nazi SS Officer. She wore fish net leggings, a blonde wig, red lip stick, dark eye liner and see through pants under a short mini skirt. I searched the internet for ‘nazi feminist’ and got the term ‘feminazi’ – another side of feminism where women want to dominate men. She said if I had gone as Jewish she would have taken a whip with her. Although I am not Jewish I am circumcised and as a guy I got bullied for it my girlfriend knows this.

She already has black leather boots which she calls her Nazi boots. She went to the shops the other day looking for some leather boots with laces up the front (similar to Dominatrix boots – although she didn’t mention this).

The other night she wanted to both smoke weed and watch fight club the film. She wanted me to be naked as she played with my balls while I was watching it. Then she made me suck her breasts for ages while she was playing with her vibrator watching men being beaten up. Then she wanted me to orgasam on her butt, saying I was to only look at her butt and she kept saying “its like any butt”.

Whenever I have tried to have a serious conversation to her about it all she says ‘i'm just joking'. It seems very clear to me our relationship is a Domination and Submission (Female Dominated) relationship. However my girlfriend won’t talk about it seriously what can I do? I think she is embarrassed about talking about it. I want to buy her some books or have a serious talk about it with her. What do people suggest?

She sounds delightful. The world is filled with men who would pay a lot of money to be treated the way you are getting treated. I don't know what you're complaining about.

Would you rather have peace or happiness?
Okay, I'm a Christian, but I'm really into the femdom/BDSM thing. It's a lot of fun, and I really enjoy it, at least when the boys are behaving themselves. But I know it's not something a Christian should be involved in, especially since I ended up sleeping with the last boy I played with. It all makes me very happy: the bossing, the spanking, the subbie sex.

BUT I do not feel at peace with God. I know what I'm doing is wrong (at least the fornication part). But being good is so boring! I really can't imagine going back to a vanilla lifestyle. But when I think about it, I know I would be at peace with God.

So which would you choose? Something that made you happy (when you weren't frustrated, that is), or something that gave you peace?

Maybe you should think about it in God's terms:
1 Cor. 6:9,10

You're not going to find peace or happiness in mankind. You will always be disappointed somehow, because man cannot be trusted to give you happiness, and certainly not peace. Man will always fall short. You are looking for people to please you in your earthly life. People who do this go through their lives, trying to get their "happiness fix" in one way or another, but it will never last. This life is only temporal. Even married couples need Jesus in the middle, so they can have joy in their marriage. Without Him, it just doesn't work. What is done for God is eternal. If you want eternal peace and true JOY that only comes from God, then you must go to the source, the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ. Jesus didn't promise peace in this life, but in eternal life, with Him. So, yeah, you can find "happiness" for a short time, but it won't last, because it's not real JOY that can only come from Him.
And you need to be careful what you choose to do. God can give you over to your sin and you will have a "debased mind." (one that is given over to your sin and you won't be able to turn back from it) It's more serious than you are making it. And IF you are a Christian. (and I can't imagine being a Christian and doing what you do), wouldn't you want to do what God wants you to do, not yourself?? Christianity isn't about ourselves. It's about Jesus. But, you should know that, being a "Christian" right?