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Fiance would rather beat off than have sex? My fiance of over 4 years and I have been living together over a year. We're both very sexual people and sex has always been great. Lately we've had sex multiple times a week. Last night i feel asleep on the couch with him & when I woke up he wasn't there. I went to the computer room & saw he was beating off, & he'd already closed the porn he was watching. I playfully asked what he was doing to which he replied, "Trying to have some privacy" (not mean or anything but still). I asked what he was watching & he said he wouldn't share his porn sites with me, which he's defended before (yet he has no prob buying xxx movies * watching them with me). I told him I was willing & asked wouldn't he rather have me than his hand & he said, "They're 2 different things, they feel different." So I left him alone & felt horrible that he'd rather jerk off than have sex w/me, which he's always enjoyed. Wtf is his problem? He always hides his porn as if it's gold & refuses to watch it w/me, yet he'll let me pick a site for both of us to watch. I can't find any porn sites or movies that he may have downloaded, he really doesn't want me seeing it. He says it's cuz it's hard to find good free sites & he doesn't wanna share, obviously bullsh*t. Maybe he's looking at something I would freak out about? He downloaded a tranny porn clip once cuz he was "bored and curious" & a couple vids of fat chicks, but he's attracted to bigger girls anyway, & that was a long time ago. I'm petite but 6 months pregnant which I didn't think was an issue til now. I feel ugly & unwanted, & I'm so offended by his choice that I'm going to refuse to be intimate w/him any time soon. What man in his right mind would rather masturbate than have amazing sex with a real p*ssy? He's not gay/bi & we both love each other very much, so why did he not want sex? We live together, why not have sex with me? He's usually the one who wants sex most of the time & I'm always willing, & sex is super amazing. What is his deal? Anyone else experience this? | That first guy is a jerk, ignore it.
But yea, I think that he's probably looking at something he doesn't think you'll accept. Or maybe he doesn't have the energy to have sex at certain times and just wants to get off. Try not to take it personally. If you two didn't have a good sex life then I'd be worried. | As an atheist transexual, I am seeking serious suggestions for a serious situation.? This is a serious request, not a fraud. I need help from my community in finding a safe place to live and suggestions on how to get there. As this is becoming a frequently dangerous place to live-1.5 transgendered persons are murdered everyday by hate criminals-soon the real ID Act will take force and for me it means that without the proper documentation I will not be able to obtain a passport. I am from Ohio and only Ohio can change the sex designation on my birth certificate, which it will probably never do and I can't wait. So me and thousands of others will be non persons and will not be allowed to leave the country. So I need suggestions [no hate please, already had my share] on where a tranny can move to have a free life and ideas about how to raise funds to do so since I live in a town of 1500 conservative people, am 55 and cannot find gainful employment. Australia is starting to sound like it maybe a great place. Anybody know anything? | Perhaps your believe that you need to leave the country to be able to be who you are is premature. You mentioned that you live in a community of 1500 people. Maybe instead of trying to leave the country, you should try to move to another part of it. Try living in a large city where there are many millions of people who have every possible set of different beliefs. Yes, there will be people everywhere who hat eyou for what you are. But if you move to a large enough community, there will be people who support you, as well as people just like you.
As a sidenote, Australia would be a poor choice for a place to move because their laws are such that it is EXTREMELY difficult for immigrants to get jobs there because their laws give priority to natives in hiring practices. (That means that if any Australian applies for the same job as you apply to, the job would go to the Australian. They only give jobs to foreigners if there are no Australians who can do the work.) | I'm Crossdresser. Should I go farther? ? I'm 41, male, single, and a crossdresser. I've been crossdressing since I was young, before kindergarten. The first time I ever ejaculated I was in my sister's clothes at around 12. I've never really taken it out of the house except for a few times riding around in a car or a secluded walk around somewhere. Anyway, not very often. I don't want to be a crossdresser. I've had gf's before and had intercourse with them. I feel this crossdressing part of my life is not what I should be doing. I feel like it is a dead end down a lonesome street. I don't feel like I had a very good hand dealt to me. I want to play a new game. I don't like this one. The cards are all wrong.
Anway, I still do dress. Not fully. When I am dressed, at least for several years now, sometimes, not always, I fantasize about being with other crossdressers. Well, not crossdressers, really, but T girls. Shemales. Trannies. Whatever you want to call them. I find myself attracted and aroused to the better looking ones on the Internet. I have never been with a guy. I have never contemplated being with a guy. But I find myself curious about T girls.
I have even called up a couple escorts on craigslist but have never followed through. I want to, sort of, but don't know what will come next, or what that will make me, or where it will lead me in my life. I had thoughts about that if I start with a T girl, that will sort of "break the ice" and then I will be free. I don't know. What if I like it? I feel like I want her to take me and that will in a sense validate me somehow. I want to have her, too. I see me as a tranny and her as a tranny, like in the porno videos. We're on a bed and we're having sex. She takes me in her mouth and then takes me in the rear.
I'm scared to go down this road. This sort of would kill all my sense of having a normal life like with a wife and guys and such. What should I do? | You sound like a typical crossdresser. Talking to a gender therapist could help you sort out where you really are and where you are headed.
A transsexual goes down the path towards transition because of the overpowering need to live fully as the gender that they identify as. This is despite the knowledge of possible rejection and loneliness. They do not go down this path due to sexual desires or fantasies. | Straight, Bi-sexual or Gay? Serious question...? Okay, I'm going to describe a person to you, it doesn't have to be anyone specific but it's just to give you a visual I suppose.
Alright, the person is a guy. Lets say he's between the ages 24-28. He's not a very social guy but does have a good hand full of friends. He's never once in his life had a girlfriend and every girl he's ever asked out has always rejected him. He hangs out with nothing but guys with a similar problem (either had no girlfriend at all or has only had 1). This guy seems to be very comfortable with joking or playing around in a "gay way" (i.e. slapping other guys ***, putting his balls on other guys legs or vice-versa, rubbing other guys chest, pretending to jack other guys off, etc). Whenever he hangs out with his friends he is always the first on to mention something "gay". This guy also enjoys sticking his finger up his own *** & gets off to tranny porn every once in a while. He has secret desires/fantasies of being dominated & having sex with an abnormally muscular girl who has a dick (and also feminine girls who have *****). His first and only kiss was with a guy (although it was a dare in order to get a brand new free car, still his first kiss was with a guy). And also, the guy went through a period in his life where he, himself, believed/or thought he was gay and experimented with himself. Now, at an adult stage in his life he continually tells other people that he is straight & loves women. Despite the fact that he still does all of the things I previously described, this guy continues to tell people he likes women and women only. He's never had a girlfriend, he finds it very hard to talk to girls period, he hangs out with nothing but guys who also has never had a girlfriend or has only had 1, he gets off to tranny porn, he likes sticking his finger up his ***, he's comfortable to playing around in a gay way, and so on and so forth.
Now that I've described this person to you my question to everone is this. Do you think that this guy is gay? Now, don't just immediately say "yes" because of all the things I've described here, no. I really want you to think about it first. Can a guy do all of the things I've described above and still be straight? | | I don't know but if he thought he was and now says he isn't. IDK. I would say the guy is simply awkward and has an extreme self esteem problem to the point of it dominating his life. | Am I F*ked Up? Okay, i'm 23 and I have never had a girlfriend before. I've had sex with 2 prostitutes, the second one cost me only a ride from the bar back to her house (SHE was also a tranny). I've been approached by girls before, but I never like any of them because they were either too ugly, even for a dog with no legs, or they seemed to only like me because they were desperate or they assumed i was needy enough to fall head over heels for them, maybe because I'm ugly and scrawny? I've always seen myself as that, and there's many beautiful women that only date ugly men so they can control them. I don't want to be controlled. I love being free, and I only want an occaisonal f-buddy to go out and party with on the weekends and bang.
I guess what I want to ask is, is the source of my failure to find an at least decent looking f-buddy my apeish apearence? Or does the problem lie in my personality/intellect? | | i think ur attitude to women is degrading, why not stick to the prostitutes if all u want is a f*ck? | I am the chosen one. I am God. You are God too. Aren't we all? I woke up in August last year and realised that I'm the new chosen one, or saviour, or a God - depending on how you would like to write it. This happens every now and again, say every 2000 years. I am the guardian of the Age of Aquarius.
Before you write some pathetic response, what this actually means is that I have gained a further understanding into who we are, why we're here and what we are suppose to be doing... and more, but let's discuss a few points.
Do not judge - only God or Allah can do that. And yet you all constantly involve yourselves in trying to work out who is sinning. And then judge them. My favourite human preoccupation is that you care who sleeps with whom. Real Gods don't give the slightest bit of thought to who has sex with whom. Men with men, women with women. Seriously?!? Gay, straight, bi, tri, tranny, chick with *****.. try-sexual... Just do it and as long as you don't hurt anyone, it fine. It's one of the fun things we put here for ourselves.
Drugs - again back to the judging bit - good for you overall, in moderation they expand the mind, creating synaptic pathways that you never had before. Another of the fun things we put here for ourselves. Alcohol is our (the gods) least favourite.
Gods don't have rules, or commandments. We just have principles. Love, Truth, Gratitude. Not simple love between two people, but love of the beauty of life and everything around us. The truth will set you free, because when you realise you are an eternal being who's living in a video game in your mind, your perspective changes. Gratitude for what you have; that your needs are fulfilled (don't confuse needs and wants).
So, relax, enjoy and have FUN. Everything that happens to you is a lesson for your soul. Big lessons, small lessons.
I am not alone and will be making some changes soon. Don't worry, they're all good ones. Oh, FYI, Judgement Day was last year, August 10, 2010. See it wasn't that bad hey?!?
We don't believe in organised religion. | | "only God or Allah can do that" is where you go wrong. Your moon god is powerless and I will squash him with my foot. | Fiance would rather beat off than have sex? Sry it's kinda long...
My fiance of over 4 years & I have been living together over a year. We're both very sexual people & sex has always been great. Lately we've had sex multiple times a week. Last night I feel asleep on the couch with him & when I woke up he wasn't there. I went to the computer room & saw he was beating off & he'd already closed the porn he was watching. I playfully asked what he was doing to which he replied, "Trying to have some privacy" (not mean or anything but still). I asked what he was watching & he said he wouldn't share his porn sites with me, which he's defended before (yet he has no prob buying xxx movies & watching them with me). I told him I was willing & asked wouldn't he rather have me than his hand & he said, "They're 2 different things, they feel different." So I left him alone & felt horrible that he'd rather jerk off than have sex w/me, which he's always enjoyed. Wtf is his problem? He always hides his porn as if it's gold & refuses to watch it w/me, yet he'll let me pick a site for both of us to watch. I can't find any porn sites or movies that he may have downloaded, he really doesn't want me seeing it. He says it's cuz it's hard to find good free sites & he doesn't wanna share, obviously bullsh*t. Maybe he's looking at something I would freak out about? He downloaded a tranny porn clip once cuz he was "bored and curious" & a couple vids of fat chicks, but he's attracted to bigger girls anyway, & that was a long time ago. I'm petite but 6 months pregnant which I didn't think was an issue til now. I feel ugly & unwanted, & I'm so offended by his choice that I'm going to refuse to be intimate w/him any time soon. What man in his right mind would rather masturbate than have amazing sex with a real p*ssy? He's not gay/bi & we both love each other very much, so why did he not want sex? We live together, why not have sex with me? He's usually the one who wants sex most of the time & I'm always willing, & sex is super amazing between us. I understand guys will be guys but turning me down & masturbating instead?? What is his deal? Anyone else experience this? | It's probably a combination of impending fatherhood and the simple fact that you caught him - he did think you were asleep. I'm not being offensive, but your hormones and emotions would be all over the place now as well (I've had 3 guys, I know those crazy hormones). The only thing that concerns me is that from reading this is that deep down you seem to think that there is something wrong (looking at something inappropriate) and you would know your fiance better than anyone. Maybe just wait for things to cool down and then discuss this with him, you should be able to if you are going to marry him. Sorry I can't be of more help. :)
Edit: Men do like to masturbate too, even if they are married. My husband and I can have it everyday and he still would (masturbate) that just what they do, its different and selfish (in a good way) and thats o.k. My hubby will have a shower, and if the doors locked, thats what he's doing, I know cause he told me). I don't care. He is still an amazing lover, and excellent husband. |
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